Making it out of Japan

As I sat at the gate trying to stay awake for my flight to Bangkok,I got an erie feeling as one un-Godly beautiful Japanese siren after another bowed to me before entering the ticket counter. I should have know better when earlier that day my priceline ticket would not work, a hacker kept killing my cell phone calls as I tried to reach them, and I was eventually forced through customs and immigration to reach the ticket counter. I felt like Tom Hanks... but this wasn't a place I felt I could survive for long. Back to the unGodly beautiful sirens... Luckily an old wise man pulled me away and dragged me to two different gates as the monitors changed from English. Before getting me on the plane, he attempted to talk me out of my trance and left me with some great wisdom on the many different types of women Asia has to offer, most of which is better off not shared here. I was too busy praying that one of the flight attendants might actually be a Gaijin to get a photo, but this is me feeling like good old Tom Hanks.